Listening in Coaching

I had some friends the other day share with me how much they liked my web site. They asked me a bit more about coaching and thought it would be helpful for me to explain two things in more depth.
The first is to let you know I coach over the phone as well as in person. I do most of my coaching on the phone, which means I coach locals as well as individuals from all over the U.S. My coach is from Australia!
Telecoaching has some wonderful benefits. It saves commute time, resources, and allows many people to experience coaching from their own home or office and to connect with a coach that meets your needs even if they don’t live near by.
The second topic is the key component of coaching, listening. In coaching school they call it “listening until you disappear”. Listening deeply to what the client says and reflecting it back to them supports you the client to find your own answers. It means when we are talking I am fully with you. Not thinking about how I need to respond or what the right answer or next question might be.
My goal is to listen so you hear your own answers and ask you questions to deepen the process.The coaching model is based on the belief that we all have our own answers. I’m sure many of you can remember a time when you have been fully listened to. You connected to that answer you were looking for. The “aha” moment when you said yes that’s it, that’s the direction I want to head or that’s the answer I was looking for. Coaching can then move into action, supporting you to map out your plans or goals and take steps to move you toward them. I will also assist you with accountability to the degree you need and want that. The coaching relationship is all about you the client and what your agenda and goals are. Any questions feel free to give me a call or send me an email.

Stress vs. Conscious Choice

A number of opportunities arose the last few days for me notice how easily we get caught up in believing we "have to" do something. I have a strong commitment to making conscious choices and thinking a little more "out of the box”.
On Monday I was at a workshop on Heartmath and the instructor was talking about stress and how it was inevitable. And while I do realize that some stress is inevitable I also know on a very deep level that a lot of stress is caused by beliefs, expectations or habits that may no longer be serving us.
There are many choices I make in my day that either add to or diminish my stress. Some are bigger choices i.e. how many activities do I want to cart my children to, how many clients do I want to fit into one day, how many commitments do I choose to have after my children are home from school---and others are small choices-- not answering the phone during dinner, not answering the phone just because it rings, sitting down at my table to eat a healthy lunch, taking a 5 minute break... You get the picture.
What I'm saying is a lot of stress is really about choice!! We use the words "have to" much to often. There are few if any “have to do’s” in the words of Marshall Rosenberg. I’m wondering, how often do you look outside of yourself for the answers? What are your coworkers, neighbors, friends and relatives doing, eating, or stressing about? It seems to me it's become the norm, and a badge of honor, to be stressed.
You can choose to create a life with less stress. It does take a commitment to become more conscious, pay attention to your feelings and needs and get to know your own personal values.
I can share from my own experience and that of many of my clients, to make conscious choices is empowering, exhilarating, and ultimately very freeing!

Intention

I decided to experiment with paying closer attention to my intentions this weekend. My intention was to create opportunities to connect more fully with my family, friends and myself and to feel happy doing it. The question that I worked with is one I found in the book “ How We Choose to be Happy” by Rick Foster and Greg Hicks. Here’s the question: What attitude will best enhance the quality of this experience right now? I don’t know exactly how often I asked it, however I did find myself shifting my attitude frequently and smiling to myself in a fun loving sort of way.
Did having a clear intention support me in making it happen? It did, I had some wonderful connections, and as the weekend unfolded my plans included more intimate times with family, friends and myself. It was a full weekend and also a quiet one. We had another family over for a board game, a morning of working in our community, dinner and a movie with friends, a tandem bike ride with my son and a lovely nap on Sunday afternoon. And plenty of moments of connection in between! I continue to gain greater awareness that, for me, it’s not the length of time of any one interaction; it’s how present I am… my intention to be right there, that’s the prized gift!
Take this week to play around with this concept. Do you have any long-term intentions? And do your intentions include being happy? Have fun!
You can click on
www.choosetobehappy.com and go to “exploring your happiness” and you can take a happiness inventory!
Best,Carol

Balance

This is posted on my web site and I thought I would share it here as well. I find it really helpful as a check-in for what I need to focus on.
Read through the following questions and check the ones that you are doing regularly.

I have a regular exercise routine that I feel great about.___
I take some time every day for quiet contemplation.___
I eat foods that nourish my body and my soul.___
I eat five vegetables and fruits a day.___
I have meaningful work in my life. (This can be taking great care of your family)___
I wake up feeling energized and enthusiastic about my day.___
I get seven to eight hours of sleep per night.___
I have a creative interest that I pursue.___
I am aware when my stress level gets above a three( on a scale of 1-10) and I do something to take care of myself.___
I know what my options are to decrease my stress.___
I take time to connect with myself on a regular basis.___
I find it easy to name five positive qualities about myself.___
I have fulfilling relationships with family and friends.___
I feel confident in getting my needs met.___
I communicate my feelings and needs without blame and judgment.___
I look for new opportunities to grow and learn.___
I am willing to say no.___
I take time to play.___
I see a healthcare practitioner regularly and my health is a priority in my life.___
I am honest with myself and others.___
I give easily and without any expectations of getting something in return.___
I can give and receive appreciation with grace.___


All these statements reflect ways in which we can take great care of ourselves.
How did you do?
Did this awaken in you a desire to have more of these qualities or behaviors?
Feeling inspired to set some new intentions and take action to live a healthy balanced life?
Need support?

"You already have the precious mixture that will make you well. Use it." -Rumi