Healthy families

I received this comment on my blog yesterday and thought I would respond here and maybe it will support more than the writer.

“I am wondering if you are familiar with the TV program "Honey We're Killing The Kids" I have twins who are 12 and seem to have been "blessed" with heavier body types. I am not proactive and not really sure how to help them without nagging every time they put something in their mouths. When I suggest we go for a walk or ride the bikes they say "we are not fat for our age." I explain it is not about the weight it is about health. They don't want to go. How can I help them?”

I have heard about the TV program but hadn’t seen it. I googled it and if any one wants to know more about it here is the link. I have to say it’s a catchy title! http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/tv_and_radio/honey/. The show has some similarities to coaching in that people are choosing to make a change so there is some level of readiness. I get a sense from what I saw that health is presented as more than nutritious eating and exercise. The host of the show works with each family for three weeks and makes more changes as time goes on. No sugar, less screen time, family meals, increased exercise and family activities… The show looks like an opportunity to engage millions of people to think more seriously about living healthy, balanced lives.

My response to your question “How can I help them?” is:
What is your commitment to health?
What kinds of food choices are available in your home?
What does living a healthy life mean to you and how do you share that with your children?
What feelings does the response “we are not fat for our age” evoke in you?
Get very clear about what you are wanting and why, enlist support from your partner and start having conversations about what health/wellness means to you, what changes are you wanting to make, how will you begin, and why you want to make them. Share these thoughts with your whole family. One of the first steps to becoming a healthier household is to observe your own health and start from there. Children learn so much more from what we model than what we say.

When you suggest going for a walk or ride communicate what is it about for you? For example: I would really enjoy getting outside and walking with you, it would meet my need to get some fresh air, exercise, and hear about your day. Would you be willing to take a walk with me? If they say no, be open to options and continue your path to health.

For healthier eating options remember we are the ones who bring food into the house. As we change what we buy our kids will shift what they eat. I believe one of the key components of this is continuing the discussion around why. Health is more than our physical bodies and it is very related to happiness. Kids can understand it on that level. Engage their natural curiosity, desire for happiness, and connection to the present moment. Wellness is a mind, body, and spirit shift and with children connecting all the dots is a gift far greater than you imagine.
Have playful conversations, make it fun, get support, and engage them from a place of love.

P.S. I appreciate comments and am happy to address questions with ideas, reframes, perspective, another question…